Facing Fears
“What if I fall? Oh but my Darling, what if you fly?””
Here I stand, solid ground firm beneath my feet. I look out over the treetops. I feel the breeze gently blowing through my hair. My toes dangle at the edge, flirting with what lies beyond. I close my eyes and take in the calm. It is now or never. With all the courage I can muster, I JUMP…..
I will be completely honest…..As bad as I have wanted to start a small business, do more with my love for quilting, I was terrified!!! What if I fail? What if no one likes me? Am I just going to be wasting my time? Well, sometimes we just have to face those fears, and take a leap of faith!
I have always struggled with failure. I am slightly a perfectionist. If I am going to do something, I am going to do it right. So it has taken a lot of time to work up the courage to start a small business revolving around my passions. And to be honest, there is no right or wrong way. Everyone will have a different opinion on how or why you should do something. All that matters is that you do you!! So, what if no one likes me or my patterns? Oh well, I am writing patterns I like. I am creating quilts that are pleasing to me. I achieved a goal I set for myself, so I could never be wasting my time. Will my small business survive? Well, that partly depends on y’all, my supporters. But it also depends on how hard I work! If something isn’t working, look deep inside, take a different approach. Just don’t lose YOU in the process!!
I will admit, I am on the border of being called a millennial. I was born in the mid-80’s, so we are classified differently depending on who you talk to. I do not consider myself a millennial, far from it, not that there is anything wrong there. The internet was just becoming a thing when I was in middle school, and it was not common in homes in rural middle TN; we didn’t have internet until like my junior year of high school and it was dial-up and we were only allowed to be on it for school because it tied up the phone line. Facebook became a thing , at least in my neck of the woods, when I was a junior in college. I never participated in the Myspace thing. I haven’t even been a smart phone user for a decade; I started out with an iPhone 5 if that tells you anything! And to be honest, my sister still makes fun of me for not knowing and using one to its full potential. I am not up on technology, so I feel way behind the times when it comes to social media. But, unfortunately, social media has become almost a must for small business. I know there are fellow quilters and small business owners like me out there that struggle keeping up. You feel like you end up “losing yourself.” That was another one of my fears that I still face every day! I just try hard to make a presence, but keep a balance between social media, and my real life. You will rarely see me posting on the weekends; I take that time “off” to focus on my family and a simple lifestyle. I also, try hard not to get sucked down the rabbit hole.
I started my IG page with no followers, just like many of you. It has NOT grown quickly and that created its own new set of fears. Here I am, getting ready to release my first pattern, and it was time to put a call out for testers. I probably put this off for months just because I was so scared that no one would sign up. But I finally worked up the courage to put out the call. Thanks to some shares from some amazing quilty friends, and much to my surprise, I had over 53 people sign-up the first day of my tester call. This was HUGE for me. Gave me that push I needed that hey, maybe this will work.
That leads me to my next point, and a non-visible fear for many of us. Try not to compare yourself to others! Like I said earlier, everyone has an opinion…….you do you!!! I could easily compare myself to other quilters and their success compared to my own. However, that gets me no where! Everyone’s life is different……different goals, different passions, different lifestyles, different views, different motivations, etc. We have no way of truly knowing what goes on behind the screen in others lives, so there is no comparison. I still work a 40hr/week full time nursing job, have a small farm with my husband, and a kid not in school yet. (Plus, as I write this, we are STILL finishing a full gut remodel of out 1913 stone farmhouse.) I have a lot of things to balance, and as long as I find a healthy balance, and still get to design patterns and make pretty quilts I am proud of, then I am a success!!
This post is real! It’s me. It may not speak to many of you, but for those few that are maybe struggling with fears and doubt, I hope it helps to let you know that you aren’t alone. I am thankful for the quilting community because we are so supportive of one another. Never be afraid to reach out, ask questions, or just find a friend!
You stood at the edge and took a deep breath
A leap of faith towards a future unknown
And with that leap, you died a small death
Like an old skin shed and a new one regrown
There’s no need for fear, a leap’s just a step
Infused with firm resolve and noble intention
It’s striding out with new vigor and pep
On a path full of hope and reinvention
Faith is believing before you can see
Following the trail with no summit in view
Knowing the acorn contains an oak tree
Finding your spirit and keeping it true
You stood at the edge and took that great leap
Now life will conspire to show you the way
And the lessons you learn, the dreams you will reap
Are rewards for the actions you take every day.
Wayne Visser